When he’s gone, I’ll slip into something sloppy,
I’ll take off my bra and things can go floppy.
I’ll put my aching feet up,
sip Earl Grey tea from a cup,
and I won’t get accused of being stroppy!
When he’s around I have to look all sexy,
with my boobies pert and my hips all flexy.
I have to flatter and flirt,
and wear a tight mini skirt,
or else he will get raging apoplexy