Information Overload

by | Mar 10, 2012 | Humour, Ramblings of a Grumpy Old Woman | 0 comments

I am suffering from a not-so-rare disorder that no doctor in the world is ever going to find a cure for – “Information Overload”. With all the information I have gleaned throughout my life via one medium or another, my brain is now saturated with old information, wrong information, misinformation and useless information. I now have the attention span of a gnat. My short-term memory is getting worse by the day, yet I can remember telephone numbers for customers I had in my first job forty-odd years ago. Why is that?

Why can’t I scrub my memory banks clean of all the old useless information I have and make room for some more important current information, like one does with a computer that is running out of memory? I need a “Press Delete Forever” button. I no longer need to know how to bring up children. All that info can go – that should free up some memory to store the time I am supposed to be going to my meeting tomorrow, where it actually is being held, and how to get there. I don’t need all these old telephone numbers of my customers from the early seventies ………. delete! 

I suppose I had better hang on to a few old files of information on how to do accounts, just in case I ever get a temporary job again, but I don’t think I’ll ever need again the massive file from the eighties on how to turn the pelts from sheep into clothing leather ………… delete!

Nor do I need the file on all the chrysanthemum varieties that we grew in our nursery in the seventies, and the advantages of one variety over the other. They have probably been superseded by now anyway ……. delete!

I might have to hang on the file on to how to formulate a complicated spreadsheet, just in case anyone ever asks me to build one again, but out can go the file on Supercalc or Lotus 123 keystokes.  Does Supercalc even exist any more? Delete! 

There! I’ve now freed up loads of memory, ready to store loads of obviously very-important-to-my-children information. I will now be able to remember how 2D GPS works. I have all the diagrams that my son drew me last night and they are imprinted on my memory forever. I think I’ve even grasped the logic of 3D GPS too, even though he was unable to draw that out for me at the time. He has saved me hours of searching the internet, reading through volumes of waffle trying to understand it. Roll on his next visit when he can thrill me with more information on how to fly a plane without a pilot. I’ve bags of room for all that info now!

Next I’m going to start learning how to sift through all the old information, bad information, misinformation and useless information that I find on the internet, searching for what time my next meeting is, where it is and how to get there!