April Poem-a-Day Contest 2016 for writersdigest.com
I didn’t get into this April PAD this year until day 12 but then I worked backwards to day 1, and published or be damned, I did! My doggy ditties continue…
Day 1 – Write a Foolish poem
I’ve done some stupid things in my life
like twice becoming a rotten man’s wife,
but I was young then, I’m no more the fool:
I now prefer to stay single, that’s much more cool.
(Not published)
Fool if you think he loves you
Fool if you think he cares
Fool if you think he’ll be faithful
Fool if you think he’ll stay
Wise if you know he needs you
Wise if you need his heirs
Wise if your union’s gainful
Wise if you keep him at bay
(Not published)
FOOLISH PUP
I was running around
with my feet on the ground
but all of a sudden
I was covered in mud an’
my feet were all soggy.
What a daft doggy,
up to my head in muck
alongside a duck!
(Published)
Day 2 – What he/(she) said
He said we’d be fine
I know he was lying
It wasn’t long
before he did me wrong
(Not published)
ORDERS
She said “Come!”
and I did, on the run.
She said “Stay!”
but I wanted to play.
She said “Sit”
and I did for a bit
She said “Lie down”
and I started to frown.
She said “Din dins”
and I fetched the tins.
She said “Be good!”
and I did what I should.
She said “Out!”
and I started to pout.
She said “No!”
but I wouldn’t let go.
She thinks she’s the boss,
well, that is her loss.
(Published)
Day 3 – Three (blank)
Three days of happiness,
three months of hell,
three years of misery,
three decades to dispel.
(Not published)
THREE THINGS I LIKE
There are three things I like best.
My food, my walks and my rest.
It doesn’t take much to make me happy
but if I don’t get them, I get really snappy
(Published)
Day 4 – Distance
ACROSS THE MILES
Three thousand odd miles
is not far these days
with Facebook and Skype
communication ways.
I’ve a Facebook page
and a doggy blog.
I hear auntie talk
from on Mum’s laptop.
My doggy dad’s Mum
“likes” my doggy pics
and stories about
my mischievous tricks.
I’ve lots of new friends
I have never met
I guess I’m lucky
I’m a “techno pet”.
(Published)
Day 5 – Experienced and/or Inexperienced
GSD TRAINING
I was new to training.
I was feeling raw.
I needed reining
but I improved more.
I walked nicely to heel
in a straight doggy line.
I did left and right wheel.
I behaved just fine.
I got given treats
for every trick I did
and found other eats
that round the room were hid.
With honour I passed
and got a certificate,
but when I left the class
I became a reprobate.
(Published)
Day 6 – Ekphrastic poem
PORTRAITS OF GERMAN SHEPHERD DOGS
On canvas are your paintings
but they’re currently waiting
to be fixed up on Mum’s walls.
Three dogs in coloured oils.
One is a portrait of me,
one is Myschka, one’s Jezzie.
In my room Mum wants them each
but she’s worried I can reach.
(Published)
Day 7 – Urban (blank)
URBAN WALK TO THE PARK
Urban conurbation,
full of traffic fumes.
Rural reservation,
full of wildflower blooms.
Urban artic lorries
pass us very fast
along the highway,
and I’m harassed.
In rural fields and parks,
where I just love to play,
there is fresh air and grass
and there I want to stay.
(Published)
Day 8 – A doodle poem
I sat in the dentist
drawing a doodle
of an octopus
that looked like a poodle.
(Not published)
DOODLE-DIDDLE TIDDLE
Doodle-diddle tiddle,
Tickle-tum-tum:
This is the language
that I’ve learned from Mum.
“Be a good girl,
don’t do that,
lie down nicely,
don’t chew the mat”.
“Do you want supper?
Do you want brekkie?
Do you want to go out?
Do you want a bikkie?”
My language is more simple:
Growl, whine, woof, woof, woof.
But you don’t understand
and remain all aloof.
Doodle-diddle tiddle
Tickle tum-tum.
Rub my belly
while I roll over, Mum.
Published
Day 9 – A hide out poem
MY HIDEOUT
As a pup I had a secret hide out
in a cardboard box, with its side out.
I used to hide all my toys and bones
and things I had stolen, like Mum’s phones.
But now I’m bigger, what works better
when I steal Mum’s book or a letter,
is to wait until Mum doesn’t watch me,
then chew them up before she can catch me
(Published)
Day 10 – An emotion poem
I’M BORED
I’m feeling sad.
I’m feeling gay
but I’ve nothing
much to do today.
It’s raining outside
but I want to play
and Mum says that
inside we must stay.
I’m feeling bored
I’ve nothing to do
except lie around
and find something to chew.
(Published)
Day 11 – A defensive poem
It wasn’t me,
no it wasn’t I.
I didn’t mean
to tell a lie.
(Not published)
DENIAL
I didn’t do it,
I’m being good,
just lying still
as I know I should.
It wasn’t me,
no, it wasn’t I.
That rug just fell apart
whilst here I lie.
http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-11/comment-page-3#comment-3629224
Day 12 – A serious and/or silly poem
Here we are on day twelve
and I’ve only just begun
to catch up with PAD poems
and have some fun.
(Not published)
I seem to have lost my muse this year
that is very clear
I’ve only just started to write PAD verse
and it’s getting worse.
(Published http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-12/comment-page-1#comment-3629220)
I’ll be two years old this week
and Mum says I need to grow up
and be sensible, but why?
It’s much more fun being a pup.
(Published http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-12/comment-page-1#comment-3629222)
Day 13 – Last (blank)
LAST TIME I HAD A NEW BED
Mum bought this new bed today
and a new pink paddling pool
for me to splash in and play,
cos the baby bath’s too small.
Last time I had a new bed
I was a very young pup
but Mum’s bought a new one now
because she thought I’d grown up.
I’ve had four beds up ’til now.
All of them have been bright pink
Mum likes that cerise colour
all around her house, I think.
My first bed’s in the garden
full of pretty pink flowers.
It sits with other pink pots
on the patio of ours.
My first bed I grew out of,
the next Mum’s friend smashed to bits
falling on it from a height,
which had everyone in fits.
My third bed has been well chewed,
is comfy and just fits me,
but Mum wanted a new one
for our holiday, you see.
This one has a nice cushion
for me to sit on, she said.
I just wanted to chew it
so it’s been hidden instead.
Now I have got two baskets:
one’s kept where I sleep at night
the other’s in the kitchen
for when I’m within Mum’s sight.
(Published)
Day 14 – Time Out
BORED PUP
It may be my birthday
but forgive me if I
chew up my new basket
and whinge at you and cry.
I’ve really been quite good,
lazing about all day
when actually I just
want to go out to play.
I need to chase pigeons
and shout at next door’s cat.
I need time out to bark
and other things like that.
I’m now getting quite bored
so please finish your work,
leave your laptop alone,
it is time for our walk.
(Published)
Day 15 – Use four out of these words:-
flat, ring, lavish, vessel, paper, blacklist, gaudy, tooth
CANINE MISCHIEF
A gaudy bit of paper dropped on our doormat
for the referendum. I have blacklisted that.
I quickly snatched it up and took it to my bed
and tore it to pieces, before it had been read.
Mum was very cross with me, then she shouted and
hit the top of my nose with the flat of her hand,
but she caught my canine tooth with her wedding ring.
That upset her a bit so we started cuddling.
Mum lavished lots of love on me to make it right
and to say that she was sorry we had a fight.
That turned into a bit of a playful wrestle
and I spilled some water from my drinking vessel.
The moral of this story, I’m sure you’ll agree,
is to watch carefully how you admonish me.
(Published)
Day 16 – Poem about a food establishment
I just love a Friday night
when it’s Fish and Chips for tea
The smell is just divine
so let’s hope there’s some for me.
(Published)
Day 17 – Haiku
Dogs don’t like Haikus
they like anecdotes in rhymes
wacky words amuse
(Published)
Human behaviour
is the real reason behind
canine disfavour
(Published)
Day 18 – In the Office
DISTRACTION
Mum’s sat in her office.
I’m not allowed in there
I lie watching her work
in her computer chair.
I try to distract her
by bringing her my ball.
She won’t take it from me,
won’t play with me at all.
So I pick up a towel
that on the hook I found.
To get her attention
I wave it all around.
That always does the trick.
She always stops her work
and gets out of her chair
with a bit of a smirk.
I roll about the floor
with my feet in the air
waiting for her to come
to tickle tum me there.
Instead she grabs the towel,
and frowning tells me off,
then shuts me in my room
with a biscuit to scoff.
I got her attention.
I might have made Mum cross,
but anyway I won.
I have proved I am the boss.
(Published)
RETIRED
The daily trek to the office
no longer do I have to face
I now have finally quit it,
I have left that dratted rat race.
No more need I take my orders
from idiots half of my age
who strut around in the office
attempting to take centre stage.
No more do I work my butt off
correcting their silly mistakes,
no more do I curb my anger
at their sadistic mickey takes.
No more do I have to watch while
they sit texting all of their mates,
or doing their on line shopping
while their daily work sits and waits.
No more do I hear stupid drivel
of what was on last night’s TV,
while I’m trying to concentrate.
Now I can concentrate on me!
(Published)
Day 19 – Cool and/or Uncool
I was out at play
on a very hot day
in our back yard
and off my guard.
I was feeling quite cool
in my new paddling pool
when it just tipped up.
What an uncool pup!
I was upside down,
the pool on my crown.
There was wet everywhere.
It really gave me a scare.
(Published)
Day 20 – What goes unsaid
THAT LOOK
I know that look,
I know it well.
You’re cross with me
that I can tell.
I look guilty
but I’m contrite.
I have been bad
I know you’re right.
I’ve wrecked my room,
I’ve chewed my bed,
I’ve ripped my towel.
I bow my head.
This good girl now
is lying down
I’m feeling scared.
Please do not frown.
(Published)
Day 21 – Answer to a poem
LEISURE
I was wandering in the park
just before it was getting dark,
when a passing thought came to me
how lucky birds were to be free.
I wanted then to stop and stare
at a pony, and a grey mare,
I quote a very famous ode
which came into mind as I strode.
I asked aloud with no-one there:
‘What is this life if full of care?’
There’s so much stress in this old life,
we’re all weighed down with lots of strife:
money worries, our mortgage debt,
and rising costs cause us to fret.
We have so little time to spare,
time off from labour is quite rare.
Weekends are spent sorting things out,
except when we’re out and about.
What a shame that when we get there
we have no time to stand and stare!
Ringing penetrated my dream:
my mobile phone. It made me scream.
Family called. My walk was through.
“Come back quickly – we all need you,”
demanded my panicking spouse.
“You’ll have to come back to the house.
We’ve burned dinner, we’re in a mess.”
No way to make my head ache less!
No more time to ponder or browse;
no time to stand beneath the boughs.
I wondered what they all would do
without me and my home made stew!
It wouldn’t hurt them much I’m sure
to have checked dinner well before.
It should be in our marriage vows:
some peace and quiet when time allows.
Could I not enjoy these minutes
on my own here with the linnets?
Oh to have some spare time to browse
and stare as long as sheep or cows!
(Published)
Day 22 – Star *****
STAR SHINE
Tonight another star shines in the sky,
another star has left this world again
and this is what it sounds like when doves cry.
Dream on if you can in the purple rain,
beyond the paisley rainbow is the Light.
Another star shines in the sky tonight.
(Published)
STARLINGS
Why do no birds come to peck up my weeds
when starlings crowd in black whirling clouds
into my yard to steal my newly sown seeds?
Day 23 – Footwear
CANINE ARTFUL DODGER
I am a compulsive thief:
I run away with Mum’s shoe
and for extra light relief
I will steal her tissues too.
I’m a perfect pick pocket,
a canine Artful Dodger:
so if she drops a sock it’s
all mine, and then I dodge her.
I’m a kleptomaniac:
Anything left in my reach
I’ll take and won’t give it back
however much she’ll beseech.
I’m a terrible tea leaf
I simply cannot resist
and it’s Mum’s sincere belief
that I will never desist.
(Published)
Day 24 – Lost and Found
LOST AND FOUND
Mum had two GSD sisters
she lost when they were very old.
They were the best friends she ever had,
the two of them, so I was told.
She felt so bereft without them
she looked for a young GSD
and very soon bought a new pup.
She found a friend in little me.
(Published)
Day 25 – Exercise
A RAINY DAY
Why can’t we go and play outside?
How do I get my exercise?
So what that it is tipping down?
Do you think that we both will drown?
My walk today was very short
I really need a lot more sport.
Can’t you put a roof on my run
so we can go and have some fun?
(Published)
Day 26 – Love and/or Anti-Love
Love lies deep down within your heart,
love will tear your soul apart,
love is wondrous at the start
but oh how it hurts when lovers part.
Some people say they have never been kissed
I feel sad for them, but what have they missed?
Like a sunny day that turns into rain
that very first kiss will turn into pain.
What is this thing that we call love
bestowed on humans from above?
We each have different types of lover
but no greater is the love of a mother.
PUPPY LOVE
I love my food
I love my treats
I love almost anything
that Mum eats.
I love it when
Mum tickles my tum
or works in the kitchen.
I just love Mum.
I hate lorries
I hate bikes
I hate almost any dog
that Mum likes.
I hate it when
Mum shuts my gate
and works on her laptop
’til very late.
My love-hate relationship
could be simply heaven.
I just need to be with Mum
twenty-four-seven.
(Published)
Day 27 – Take Off
PESKY PIGEONS
Those rotten pesky pigeons are no good at all
they’re cavorting all around on our garden wall.
They are hobnobbing on the trellis round my run
and when I go out running to have a bit of fun,
barking my head off, they take off in a hurry
and fly up on to the fence in a feathered flurry.
Mum’s fed up with them too cos they drop so much poo
and eat all the bird seed, so what else can we do
to encourage little birds but keep pigeons at bay?
They are such a nuisance and they won’t even play.
Mum keeps saying she would very much like to try
to have them shot down and baked in a pigeon pie.
(Submitted)
Day 28 – Important —–
IMPORTANT POST
Lots of post lands on our doormat each day,
which Mum immediately throws away.
Being helpful, today I fetched it in,
ripped it in pieces ready for the bin.
Oh how Mum shouted and how she did chide.
How could I know there was a cheque inside?
(Submitted)
Day 29 – Haphazard
This was an appropriate title because the writersdigest.com website was down for day 29 and day 30 (at least in the UK and Canada) so I never got the prompts until 1st May.
CHAOS
It is chaos in our yard today
with umpteen wood pigeons who are out
for some haphazard hanky panky.
They are flap, flap, flapping all about.
A collared dove sits alone nearby
all day long. I think it’s lost its mate.
Maybe it wants to join the party
or is it just staying to spectate?
Sometimes other little birds fly in,
they’re all out looking for their lunch,
but very soon fly away again
being frightened by the rowdy bunch.
So why am I not allowed to bark
to scare those pesky pigeons away?
I’m really only having a lark,
it’s just a fun game I like to play.
(Published)
(Ooops, I remembered the prompt wrong when I finally managed to access the wd site at 6am on 1st May! I remembered it as being a Chaotic poem, when it was supposed to be a Haphazard poem. I changed one word in the poem to haphazard after starting again with the poem below.)
HAPPILY HAPHAZARD
It’s one of those days again
when nothing much gets done
and I aimlessly wander
from one web page to another,
write a poem, update my blog,
clean up after my dog,
get the vac out all ready
to start cleaning, as I do daily,
stop for a cup of coffee …
and so it goes on and on all day
every day, until six pm,
when it’s dog walk time,
and I put the vac back.
My mother would have had a fit
had she been here to see it.
She was totally organised,
life compartmentalised,
everything categorised,
neatly piled or filed undefiled.
She was never distracted
by facebook, emails, internet,
idiotic ideas, words to write
that might never be read
in all honesty
by anyone other than me.
Yet, was she happy?
(Published) but not suitable for my Candid Canine book
Day 30 – Dead End
DEAD END DOG RUN
Into my run came a big bumble bee
which happens now very regularly
as there are pretty pink flowers that bloom
under the clear roof of our garden room.
I do know that bees sting, but all the same
I jumped up high to catch it for a game.
In the end there’s no escape for the bee:
Mum says it will die if it does sting me.
(Published)
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